Spirituality & Money…..Are these two words mutually exclusive ?
Last Updated on Wednesday, 30 November 2011 12:43 Written by Simone M. Matthews Wednesday, 30 November 2011 12:43
Spirituality & Money…..Are these two words mutually exclusive ?
This is one of those topics that trigger many people….. and for some of you just these words together may already be making you squirm within your seat. It is something I have to say that I have had many confrontations with over the years…. and just this week an incident really brought up some of my deep wounds to the surface.
But before I talk of this weeks events, would really like to give you a little background about myself……
Many years ago (it actually seems like a past life)… I left the corporate world to pursue the callings of my heart, and work in the field of complementary medicine, healthcare and personal development. At the time I was earning a six figure salary plus bonuses, however everything else in my life was at a low level of resonance… my health was poor, my marriage was crumbling, my soul was sad and I was depressed and very alone in darkness.
After a life changing experience (I talk about this in my workshops)… I made the giant leap out of my comfort zone to follow my passions and do what my heart and soul was calling me to pursue. I quit my job, moved interstate, left my marriage and studied natural medicine.
Over the ensuing years my health improved and I was sparkling with vitality, I had a zest for life and my depression had been transmuted. I fell in love with my Soul mate, was blessed with two beautiful children and LOVED, LOVED, LOVED my work. Actually I never saw my work as work, it was just an extension of my life, who I was, and what I was on the planet to do.
Nearly ten years ago now, I was guided to close my healing studio where I saw clients one and one, and focus my energy on building my Universal Life Tools school. I LOVE teaching and sharing.. and working with groups was both inspirational and personally inspiring. I felt in greater service to the planet in working with groups, and felt humbled to be a part of peoples lives in providing tools to follow the inner callings of their heart.
Everything in my life was flowing with grace and ease, except for one thing… the financial side. I always seemed to be struggling and have challenges making ends meet. Even if I did have a surplus in my bank account, this would always be wiped out by fridge breaking down, an unexpected bill in the mail etc.. I could laugh at the irony that my life had done a complete 180. Where before I was abundant with money but everything else in life was poor, now here I found myself abundant in health, relationships, spiritual meaning and purpose… but financially very poor !
In running my workshops, events and courses in the early years, I entered this world of service from a place of love, authenticity and calling to help others. Thus many people who were financially challenged would attend my events and ‘promise’ to pay later. I would allow people to have accounts for products /vibrational remedies where they could ‘pay me later’ when they could afford it. And I offered many scholarships to help people move out of their darkness and into a place of light and joy. I thought I was being of service, but really I was running myself broke.
With no income from my private healing studio, and a large percentage of my students not honouring their commitments to eventually pay I hit crisis point. I had a mortgage, mouths to feed, electricity and phone bills to pay… and I did not have the cashflow to meet my obligations. Friends and family helped out, and for that I am truly greatful… but it came to the point that I was so over-extended that we had to make the heart-breaking decision to declare bankruptcy. We put the house on the market, and through divine intervention in sold in time to repay all debts before we declared bankrupt… but the journey left completely exhausted and a feeling of ‘what was that all about ?’
Fast forward a number of years (after years of working on myself) I saw the need to make contracts with all my clients. Maybe I had being wearing rose coloured glasses in believing that everyone would be authentic with their word, and thus contracts would mean that each party would have a clear understanding of what they were entering into and thus every transaction was entered into from a place of mutual respect for one-another.
This worked to an extent, and apart from the odd challenge here and there clients did begin to honour their commitments. However, I still found my self to be financially poor… and making ends meet was still a struggle… yet every other aspect of my life was amazing.
So now that you have some background, lets come back to the situation that I found myself in this week…..
Two clients (who both know each other and are friends)… chose to not honour a legally binding contract with me for a significant amount of money. They each have their reasons, and I was open to discussing alternate payment plans and helping out their situation. I was trying to be as flexible and compassionate as possible, but at the same time honouring my position and the legal contract we have in place.
However, both clients were not open to discussing alternative arrangements, they wished to have the contract dissolved, and their debt to me forgiven. I have been seen as being greedy, unspiritual and lacking understanding for not forgiving their debt and bowing to their request. I have also been perceived as having heaps of money, so what should it matter if we do not meet our contractual obligation to you and pay !
I pride myself on being authentic with my word, meeting my committments and always honouring what I say I will do… so why is it then that I do not receive the same respect from others ?
The expiry of one of the contracts today (30th November) and hence payment of consideration was to pay this weeks wages, phone and electricity bills and the mortgage. Ironically it is not the money that is making me hurt so much. Yes I only have $72 in my work account today after I paid the printing bill from my last workshop…. (oooh that sounds a bit scary doesn’t it !), and have no idea how I will pay all of these bills by tomorrow..… but time and space always seem to collide and things do work out in divine timing… so I hope you are listening upstairs…. I really need some help by tomorrow !!!
I am hurting from a much deeper pain, a much deeper wound, a much deeper darkness within my heart. I am hurting because I feel violated, feel used and I feel valueless. I know I am not a victim, this would be an illusion… but I am a human, and I am hurting.
The phone just rang now as I am writing this, it was my assistant Alli checking in to see if I was ok (love you !!!) and I have tears rolling down my face now as I type this message… I have a lump in my throat… and I can feel I am holding back from sharing the truth… but I know I must confront my pain, allow it bubble up to the surface and be transmuted with love.
I am seeing that my hurt is coming from a place of low self-esteem, little self-love and a lack of honour of my worthiness.
I give and give and give as I LOVE all I do and I see miracles each and every day. I witness people going into remission from health crisis, I see people finding joy in their life where before there was only darkness, and I see people finding love where before there was only fear. I wouldn’t trade my job for anything in the world.. I feel blessed to be on this journey here on Earth, and I do feel I make a difference.
But as I embark on 2012, I now see I need to make some major changes in my life. This will be the year that I will dedicate more to me, more to finding my own love within and more to loving myself unconditionally. People only take and take and take from you when you choose to let them and when you don’t have the self-esteem and confidence to say ‘enough is enough’.
I acknowledge that I am financially challenged in this moment because in the past I have not wanted people to not like me, to think ill of me or perceive me as being money hungry and out to get a buck. I have allowed people to walk away from their commitments because I wanted to be liked, wanted to be loved… and just wanted at the end of the day to help people and do my job. People do not honour me, because I have not honoured myself. I have a fear that money ‘is not spiritual’ thus I have chosen (unconsciously) to continually struggle and be poor as evidence of being of greater service. I am hurting, and hurting REAL BAD in this moment… but also I recognise that the time has come to release the hurt and replace it with pure LOVE
Well 2012 is the year this will all change… otherwise I am going to do a repeat of an old cycle and lose my house again… and believe me I do not want to go there !
I am aspiring in 2012 to lead from my heart and demonstrate my love of self in all that I do. I choose to be authentic with my word, and honour this in each and every moment.
I envision a world as we move more deeply into the Golden Age where contracts are a thing of the past, where we work in unity from a place of authenticity, love, respect and honour of one another. Until then… I have a lot of work to do on myself… what a journey to embrace in 2012 and beyond..… I invite you to join me if you wish !
Suck it up princess!!!
Oh, Simone… blessings to you sweet soul. I do so understand your hurt and the financial predicament you’re in. All I can do is send you heaps and heaps of light and love and pray that you receive what you need to keep you doing the wonderful work you’ve chosen to do in this lifetime.
Not sure if I should be suggesting this, but here goes… Google… Heidi Sawyer. Have a look at some of her ‘coaching’ videos. They’re free (you will need to register to receive them, but I promise she doesn’t bug you). Let me know if you can’t find her and I’ll forward you a few of her emails.
I have a feeling she might be able to help you with your ‘attitude’ to receiving money
Blessings.
Dearest Simone,
Thanks for sharing your pain and reminding us that we all have our challenges which ebb and flow throughout our lives. It is truly a journey. Bless you for opening yourself up and recognizing a familiar life pattern.
I recently have been going through some challenging times and was guided to see a kinesiologist. In this particular session I released a great deal which as it turns out stems back to a deep issue from my mum (mums always get the blame!) which was shared with me at a cellular level when I was in-vitro. While recovery is a work in progress I do feel a sense of release. This may be an avenue worth considering, it just might help.
This is a huge lesson and is worth clearing from your being once and for all. Sending you unconditional love and a huge hug.
Namaste. S:)xo
My beautiful angel teacher ,I am crying reading this I cant believe it. I have had my own eureka moment lst month when suffering “‘CHRONIC FATIGUE”" I was cured by someone that gets rid of the evil eye. I like you belived that there was no evil and if I surround myself with love always and not accept it then it doesnt exist. Also coming from a place of low self worth I wanted people to like me ,but like you I realised that I have to protect and honour myself first and foremost. Sending u big beautiful bubbles of light you will always be a shinning star.!
Simone, I can only imagine how deep you delved into your very being to grasp this energy and bring it to the surface, I do know however the courage it takes to sit with ,look at,feel the pain, you are feeling , and then the courage to be real with us the public, it is enormous,, having very recently allowed my heart to feel my depth and only needing to share with a loved one , I have an inkling of the trepidation ….. It takes courage and bravery ,and surrender to not really having a choice because you know if you don’t do this,living slips away, I say to you … I see you , I see you in all your pain and in all your glory and thank you for showing me , me….. Lots of sucking in the breath and remember to breathe out my lovely , I have you you will not fall here xxxxx
you are very courageous writing in such a public forum about something which is hurting you so badly at the moment. i see the same situation over and over in others, and also in myself and thank you for reminding me of this. sending you love and light to get through this and to grow.. i sense great strength in you that you have been more than tentative about in the past.. it will grow, it must grow, and you will flourish. blessings to your “friends” who have treated you this way for making you face all of this… Love and Light to you, Simone
I see you!!!!!… Xxx…. remember… Sometimes, as the teacher…. We are the lesson!!!
Simone, bless you and thank you for courageously sharing your story. You will touch a lot of people with your words. More than you will ever know. I am putting it out there that only clients with integrity will be drawn to you. Clients who will cherish and honor your gifts, and who will always feel it is a privilege to work with you.
I have learned to love the money maker in me. Money is a representation of your energy or just simply your stored energy like a match. Much love to you Simone. Money is as spiritual as the light in the angels you see as it is a part of you.
Also when you give away your value you create a debt for the person you give to. wealth is fluid like water and always tries to equalize. I always try for equal exchange because I feel it is honourable to both parties. So I am careful that when I give the gift is for me. Like seeing the smile on my mothers face if I give her flowers. However I don’t believe much in charity as I feel it is direspectful. It also casn be disempowering. If you have a unit where people all support each other with favours that is wonderful . carpooling. What comes round goes round. But business is business. And I have always appreciated yours.I hope this is helpful. It is helping me right now clarify the same issues for me. xxx
thank you for your gorgeous authenticity!!.. this is what the world needs right now.. to see our vulnerabilities as well as our strengths!
You are so right .. this cycle for you stops NOW.. this will never happen again as you have publicly chosen to recognize this pattern and transmute it !!
woohoo good for you.. you are an inspiration!! I am so excited about this coming year as we are all being nudged out of bed .. to honor our true powerful selves.. i can’t wait to read about your overflowing abundance which is on it’s way to you…
Love , light and magical abundance.. Helen
I can so relate to your expereince and I truly thank you for sharing it. I love how we get our lessons and continue to work on being LOVE. Your expereince shared helps all of us to identifiy those parts within that remain in the shadow and need light to heal. The people that did not honor their contract, have no self worth themselves and much work to do as well. Misery loves company and so they remain friends in thir similar vibration. It is a beautiful thing that we get to witness your openness and honesty. You are the power of example and there can be no monetary amount put on that. Who you are priceless! I am am honored to have found your website as it has changed my life as well! Namaste!!! Jan
Dearest Simone – My goodness this is a difficult one I know and you have been so courageous to write this but you know what…now people will know NOT to do this any more , that it it will not be allowed and they will be ashamed to take advantage of your kindness .
The lessons are tough and they hurt physically so in my meditation circle we will gently place you in the middle (if thats ok with you) and send healing and love for your heart . Blessings Always to you.
Namaste Suzy
Sending you light n love Simone! Never forget how strong you are, what pressence and power you hold. I always find it is at that very moment when you think I can’t handle any more that a miracle takes place. Sending a loved up miracle your way xx
Tears fill my eyes, not for your struggles, but for your light. What a gift you are giving to yourself and to others as well. I have been here so many times myself and know that as soon as the light is let in, EVERYTHING changes and for the better not matter how dark it seems in the moment. Thank you for honoring yourself and sharing your journey. Sending lots of light and love to you!
Thank you for your brutal honesty, it is refreshing. I have been in the service of helping folks as a Spiritual teacher for over 30 years and I fully understand the conflict of money and spirituality. I have for most of that time lived on the fumes of faith while raising my youngest child. Spirit has always made a way, where there seemed to be no way. It is so hard to balance the two responsibilities in a balanced way and most of us are just like you and we do not love and respect ourselves enough, therefore we allow others to take advantage of our open heart. A balanced approach with both love and wisdom seems to be the key and at 70 years of age I am still striving for the balance. Thank you for such deep sharing of your personal opportunities for growth.
Simone, how brave you are to share so much of yourself which is the first step and a lesson to all of us to be more giving of ourselves. Your words struck a cord to love and honour ourselves firstly because if we don’t how can we love and honour others. I’ll join you in 2012 in learning this lesson. Love, light and lots of money to you:)
Dear Simone, I love your your honesty and your ability to share. I too have been in this situation, and sadly had to lose everything (business, house, diginity) to see what I truely had. They say it takes a storm to see the rainbow…. May your rainbow appear in the near future xx
Dearest Simone, yes tears of understanding welled up as I read your truth hurt and pain. I experienced this very early when I started out wtih clients and learnt very quickly, at still challenges me at times so thank you for the reminder we are here to serve and yet be well rewarded for the energy love and light we bring to the planet.
And especially you who is like the fresh morning sun shining down upon us all with your dedication knowledge and sharing. I am sad and disappointed that people have taken advantage of and I also understand the self reflection from my own experience.
How wonderful for you to have such insight now and to have all the tools available to make the change you need on the inside so you can be the attraction of abundance in every way.
I send you love blessings light and angel kisses to sooth your soul. May you realize such growth will come of this experience. There are so many ones who love you for being so authentic and sharing from the depths of sorrow and the deep wounding you have felt, may the love all of these people come to you in the biggest Wave Of Love that the heart of our Galactic core can send. May the ripples of LOVE wash away all the old beliefs and leave you feeling bright and new filled with the Vibration of Abundance and Happiness in all you be do and receive.
angel love from your supportive friend and associate – we have many people yet to share your Essence of Angels with and I am so excited and proud to be one of your lightworkers.
Loving smiles Vicki xox <3
Simone,
I have read your monthly news letters….But this one moved me to no end! In my mine’s eye I see a caterpillar that is about to become more wonderful butterfly…have you considered a walkabout ?
Thank you for your courage and honesty. I am trying to be really honest with myself right now about what I love and how I really feel, and this inspired me a lot. This was forwarded to me by a very special woman who has touched my life and I am glad to know of you and your work. Blessings, dear Simone!!
Love to you Laura, thanks for expressing your gratitude
Thanks for your Love Vicki.. love you
It already has Erica.. by reading these post and the divine humanity and compassion of people..we are all so loved
Will enjoy the ride with you Tizi
Hi Lucy (I love that name by the way.. secretly as a child I wanted to be called Lucy)… 70 is such a divine age of wisdom, thank you for sharing yours
Thank you Maria… infinite love your way
Hi Ruthie.. how are you.. it has been a long time ! Yes, miracles are unfolding in each and every moment… I am certainly no victim here.. this circumstance has facilitated incredible growth and understanding.. I feel very blessed. Love you
I feel blessed to receive your support Suzy, thanks for the depths of my heart
And in reflection Jan, thank you for changing mine in your expression of Love
I am still in awe of it all in this moment Helen, and yes this is much sharing to come
Thanks Kate, lets clarify together.. love the oneness field
Thank you Julie for your blessed assistance
I see you too !!!! Thanks for being my divine friend, confidant and illuminated woman of light.. thanks also for being my teacher. Love you
Thanks Flea… and yes blessing and eternal gratitude to those that can be perceived as causing harm for actually inspiring me to embrace shadow and live a more truly authentic and joyful life.. we are blessed !
Actually Maria is is a bit bloody (I am Australian, I think that I can get away with that word here) scary.. but when I created Universal Life Tools I made the personal decision to always keep it real, not hide from others and be really authentic in all I do…. well as much as I can possibly do that within my own limited ego/human/physicalness… so my intent in being real is to allow people the space and capacity to also be real.. so in the end their really is no separation, only LOVE. Love you
Feeling the bubbles Yvonne, thank you
Thanks Shirley
Wonderful that you are a WIP and healing in LOVE. Love to you 
Thank you Abi… will take a look … thanks for taking the time to share
Money is a great tool, and has loads of energy. I am open to allowing more and more of it to flow into my life on a daily basis, and have plenty left by the time I’ve paid what I need to pay. Money is energy, that’s all. It is a value exchange means: something of value into my life, money out of it. Money into my life, value out of it. Sharing, giving, and receiving. -I could go on for hours with statements like these-. You know what: it’s the biggest lesson in my life up until now (that’s 42 years down the track), and I am still not “fine” with it all. My “ride up” started when I made the commitment that I would never, ever, give my value away for “free”, unless it really felt like the right thing to do. Scared the sh.. out of me, as I feared nothing would happen from then on, and No Dollar would be earned. Turned out differently, though.
Not sure where your “final commitment” lies….. You may have already made it. And, as you put so well: it’s not about the money. Money is just one of the many ways “you” show up……
Oh, and to this Chelle “Queenie” on 1 December: suck you too (I just had to do that, sorry…..). If you want to edit that out, go for it…….
Love your words and authenticity Marc.. love you !!! You did give me a giggle.. didn’t edit … too funny
All comments approved are always left in tact (whether they are positive or negative)… as I do believe in freedom of speech… but interesting how I only received one cutting remark out of a sea of love, joy and people sharing from the heart. I suppose that is the ’1%’ that the world is all talking about
PS the only thing I don’t approve is spam.. don’t need to know about latest p___ extension or pill to please !!!!
Thankyou so much for sharing your experience…can relate really well. You have helped me clarify a few things that need to be changed in my life in 2012…I read your words and know that I am not alone….just needing to change what I allow.
With gratitude,
Eleni
Dear Simone
I cannot imagine your pain, to have friends dishonour a agreement, that must be more of a loss than the money,
I read once that if you do not value yoursef no one else will, as I am still learning this lesson
We are all going through changes as 2012 approaches and the energies that do not suit will go from our lives
I whish you peace
carol
Hi Simone,
I am gently moved by your authentic sharing, as it is. A phenomena, business or service can be restless bed fellows.
Some friends have become wealthy offering New Age offerings. When I choose to offer services at the cheaper end of
rewarding myself for offering a service I wonder if that’s my perceived worth. Is there an intention to be liked or am I
a lesser human and recognized by others as weak and lacking.
As a care giver clients feed back positives so I can never really know how I’m seen.
Thanks for sharing where you have been. You will avoid the experiences you described, unfolding new and
different ways of being and meaning .
rt
Thinking of you Simone.. That is a hairy issue which I relate to too. It helps me to remember life is ONE. It is giving you an opportunity to move beyond a sticking point. Keep your own needs and your own issues to the forefront. You are the one whose life you must live and whose life you must honour. That is the baseline for giving. That is not the same as selfish..Once you have honed yourself further you will be able to give more deeply, ahould you wish. Peace.
Love and sunshine to you Simone. Many times along this journey we need to stop and question ourselves about how we are “reacting” to the situations that we find ourselves in. Your honesty is wonderful and a guide for all of us who walk this pathway. In order to stop yourself repeating past experiences, you may need to cut through the vows that you have made in past lives and dimensions, and release yourself from them. You are about to break through the shell that has wrapped itself around you and emerge as the beautiful butterfly that you are! Blessings to you and all those who have benefited from your wonderful teaching. Carol
Hi Carol .. love to you and your family ! Love the butterfly comment.. that is my totem animal.. oh so perfect
Blessings to you and your family this Christmas… xx Simone
Beautiful Paula
Love to your rt for sharing